The question, can women “Have it all” has always driven me a little crazy. I have never heard anyone ask a man this. this has been a topic of discussion ever since women became prominent in the workforce. There is an antiquated definition of having a powerful position in a large corporation in addition to parenting 2.5 kids and being a wife with the perfect home and social life. First off, how does anyone have 2.5 kids? The question is whether women can have a professional job and family and be good at both of them. My question is…Why not? When did success mean the highest rungs of ones career? Today, we have choices and women can decide what values they will prioritize. We can develop our own definitions of personal and professional success. Women are redefining the term, “having it all” and it is not going to mean the same for every woman.
I am a career driven woman and I always knew I wanted to become an accountant. I, though, define what professional success is to me and it does not always have to tie to advancement. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t aim high and strive for excellence. As soon as I began having children, I knew that I wanted to continue working. I am a mom but I am also a working mom who tries to put a lot into both aspects. It is tiring and very difficult at times. No one at my job is going to make concessions for me because I have children, so I am putting the same effort or sometimes even more than before kids. Then I come home and try to do as much as I can to take care of my home and family. My husband shares in all house and children responsibilities and everything does not fall on me. As it shouldn’t. Together, we are able to carve out time as a family instead of being solely busy with household items.
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In my opinion, I have it all. I have defined it for me personally as being in a position in my career that I am proud of and having a healthy relationship and spending as much time with my children and husband as possible. Sure, my social life has changed after my second daughter was born and I don’t see my friends as much as I did before and I am not traveling to far away destinations at this moment but that’s okay with me. Right now, what I want, is time at home with my family when I am not pushing forward at work. In another two years, I may redefine having it all to include a greater social life but that’s not part of my definition now. Its all about what you want your “ALL” to be. It is what each person chooses to prioritize in their life. It is what you want to strive for. Sure, I am tired most days, very tired and it is not always a balance but more like a juggle. But my “All” isn’t any less valid than the next person’s. Just because it isn’t easy, does’t mean I don’t have “it”!
About eight years ago, I was working as an Assistant Vice President at J.P. Morgan and I was part of the Women’s Employee Network. For one event, we had a small luncheon with very high level women at the company to discuss their careers and gain advice and insight into how they got to where they are. One Senior Manager was asked how she balances it all and she responded with the fact that she let her children know that she would not make it to all their birthdays. At that moment, right then, I knew that is not what I wanted. I don’t want a role that powerful that it becomes more important than my own family. That is not “having it” all for me. Maybe in a few years, I will want to progress to the next level in my career but I will make sure that it allows me to make it to all of their birthdays!
Thank you for reading,
Andrea
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